9-11-08

"All of a sudden there were people screaming. I saw people jumping out of the building. Their arms were flailing. I stopped taking pictures and started crying." -- Michael Walters, a freelance photo journalist in Manhattan

I'll go ahead and be like everyone else and say "Damn, I can't believe it's been 7 years."

It seems like yesterday and it seems like forever ago.

Even worse, I didn't even realize it was 9/11 till I went to read Robyn's entry after I got to work today.

I have to admit I am pretty much ashamed of that fact.

I remember the details of that day...which is saying something cause I have a horrible memory for the most part. I was working the graveyard shift back then and I had just gotten home and I was feeding my roommate's twins their breakfast while she got ready for work. I saw the first plane hit and felt sad then I saw the second one and I got scared.

I called my mom.

Is it bad that I didn't realize today was that day?

I certainly haven't forgotten, I couldn't if I wanted to.

Maybe it's just human nature or American nature or maybe I'm just too absorbed in wallowing to see far beyond myself.

I don't know.

***Random Thoughts***

-- I've eaten oatmeal 3 days this week for breakfast. Two of the days I added way too much brown sugar but it was just that, raisins and cinnamon - no butter - so I shall carry on with the belief that it's still a good thing.

-- TOO many of my calls today have gone like this:

THEM - Yeah I'm calling about a claim and I wanna know why you haven't payed it.

ME - Sure, I can help you with that....what's the date you had the service?

THEM - I dunno.

ME - Ok...how much is the claim for?

THEM - Umm, I have NO idea.

ME - ...ok...who is the bill from?

THEM - I really couldn't say.

ME - ..............

Seriously, I've gotten like 5 calls juuust like that today and it's all I can do to not scream at them. The thing is, when I tell them to call back with SOMETHING I can use to locate the claim they act like I am just the most unhelpful person on Earth.

-- I recently discovered that we have a small cafeteria in the building (that's the source of the oatmeal) and they sell Starbucks coffee but they are ALWAYS out by the time I get there.

It's prolly better because I'm sure milk is better for my old-lady brittle bones but dang I still walk over there every morning on the off chance there may be some coffee left.

-- I am always, ALWAYS behind on music. A good friend recently introduced me to Tool and A Perfect Circle and I am pretty much obsessed now.

Go listen to:

Tool - Opiate

Choices always were a problem for you
What you need is someone strong to guide you
Deaf and blind and dumb and born to follow
What you need is someone strong to guide you
like me, like me, like me, like me

Tool - Eulogy

Standing above the crowd
He had a voice that was strong and loud
And I swallowed his facade cuz I'm so eager to identify
With someone above the ground
Someone who seemed to feel the same
Someone prepared to lead the way
With someone who would die for me

A Perfect Circle - The Noose

So glad to see you have overcome them
Completely silent now
With heaven's help
You cast your demons out
And not to pull your halo down
Around your neck and tug you off your cloud

-- I'd link the songs from y0utube but I can't access it from work

also

-- The other morning I was getting dressed for work and I heard this "POP POP POP POP" from the living room so I went in there and I smelled that smell that I can't really describe but for some reason I know it and all I can say is it's the smell of electronic death.

I finished getting dressed and then went to see if my computer would turn on and sure enough it's dead.

It's a bit surprising to me that I didn't react more strongly at the potential (and now realized) absence of My Crack. I mean, I miss playing and even more I miss talking to mah buddies there but I'm not dying or anything like I have done in the past when I've had computer issues.

I do plan on getting a computer up and running at home, hopefully by next week. I have a feeling this tranquility may be short lived and I'll start needing a fix by then.